If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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