Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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