You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
