my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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