I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
