we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Randomize
