I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
