Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
