Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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