I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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