apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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