So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
