i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
