Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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