he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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