hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
