WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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