is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
