I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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