best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
