That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
