I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
