so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
