i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
