I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize