Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize