i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
