he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
