I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
