my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
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