And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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