Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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