Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
this just has baby written all over it
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
