Sponge bath it is.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
