umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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