my phone needs a breathalizer
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
