Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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