the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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