Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
