he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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