i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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