It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
