the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
