I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
home. puking in laundry basket.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
