Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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