gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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