She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
