I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
MIDGETS
????
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
