Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
