It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
