Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
